Highland Humanist Weddings

28 October 2011 Eoin & Tracy’s Humanist Wedding at Dunrobin Castle

Tracy’s family is from Golspie, so Dunrobin is their local Castle, though Tracy and Eoin live in Ireland, Eoin’s home country, with baby Euan, their pride and joy. Brides and Grooms always have so many last-minute things to do, however much help they have from friends and family, so I was glad they’d been able [...]

Tracy’s family is from Golspie, so Dunrobin is their local Castle, though Tracy and Eoin live in Ireland, Eoin’s home country, with baby Euan, their pride and joy. Brides and Grooms always have so many last-minute things to do, however much help they have from friends and family, so I was glad they’d been able to meet me for a cup of tea the previous day, before we went along to Dunrobin for a short run-through.

As I walked towards the Castle, I was happy to hear the Piper playing for the arrival of the guests, and to see Scott and the photographer waiting by the front door. Dunrobin was looking beautiful, as always, and I reflected on how lucky I am to be able to visit such wonderful venues as part of my working day.

Before the ceremony began, there was a bit of joshing from the Irish Best Men and ushers, very warm and friendly, and warm and friendly describes the whole of the wedding. For me, this was just as well, as I’d left their handfasting ribbons hanging up in my van, and only remembered them as I started to read the relevant section of my script…. How unprofessional! Thank goodness it wasn’t my first wedding at the venue! Scott saved the day – he took my key and fetched the ribbons, while we moved on to one of the readings. (Memo to self: don’t answer the phone when getting ready for a wedding.)

One highlight for me was Eoin and Tracy’s Three Things, as they spoke about laughter, patience, understanding, clumsiness, forgetfulness, empathy and selflessness. Another was the reading of Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, in a beautifully written modern translation:  Love is patient, Love is kind and envies no-one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited nor rude; never selfish, nor quick to take offence. Love keeps no score of wrongs; Does not gloat over other men’s sins, but delights in the truth. There is nothing love cannot face; There is no limit to its faith, its hope, and its endurance.

Yet another highlight was the Sand Ceremony, with three colours of sand, one each for Bride and Groom, and another for the next generation, poured on their behalf by his Uncle Donnie.  Let’s acknowledge and celebrate now this joining of individuals and the uniqueness of this very lovely family with a simple ceremony. The mixing together of these three colours of sand represents not only the joining of Owen and Tracy in marriage but the arrival of the next generation of their families and the joy this has brought to you all. Every grain of sand is tiny, seemingly insignificant in the vast expanse of the world, but reminds us that every tiny quality we each possess helps to make up a great good, a wealth of human love, such as brings us together today to celebrate.

I also loved the short Naming ceremony for Euan, with parental promises to strive to provide Euan with a loving, caring home to enable him the freedom to develop his own personality and endeavour to give him a strong sense of identity and self-esteem and quide-parent promises to provide Euan with a guiding hand when he needs it most, help to teach him right from wrong, and love him for who he is. Khalil Gibran’s advice always brings a lump to my throat, too: You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

The best of love and luck to them all!

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