Highland Humanist Weddings

5 November 2011 Patrick & Cathy’s Humanist Wedding on Faraid Head, Durness

It was a perfect morning for Patrick and Cathy’s wedding – a wonderful surprise, as the weather on surrounding days was too wet and windy. We were to set out on foot from Balnakeil Beach, and by 8 o’clock I’d parked by the ruined church and was reading the paper and drinking freshly-brewed coffee. The [...]

It was a perfect morning for Patrick and Cathy’s wedding – a wonderful surprise, as the weather on surrounding days was too wet and windy. We were to set out on foot from Balnakeil Beach, and by 8 o’clock I’d parked by the ruined church and was reading the paper and drinking freshly-brewed coffee. The Best Man was the first to arrive, and he took me to meet Cathy and her friends, then back to Balnakeil Beach in time to walk to the chosen spot with Patrick and the wedding guests.

When they were first planning their wedding, it was going to be minimalist, but then they’d realised that they wanted to share the day with close family and friends – three generations of adults and children – including Patrick’s elderly mother, whose walking pace was stronger and faster than mine.

Patrick and Cathy share a passion for travel and adventure in wild places, and are never happier than when they’re swimming, surfing, hiking or climbing, or sleeping under the stars far away from so-called civilisation. It hadn’t surprised anyone that they’d chosen the Far North-West coast for their wedding – the venue would have been Cape Wrath, if we’d been able to rely on calm seas for the boat ride across the Kyle of Durness. They were planning to take the wedding party across later, to have their party in the Kervaig Bothy.

Patrick and his friends had been out to the chosen spot earlier on, and they’d made it safe by roping off the cliff edge, and providing a guiding-rope in the place where the path was narrow and the rocks uneven, so I had no concerns about the physical safety of guests. They’d also provided simple benches, cushions and rugs, which were definitely needed. The sun shone, but the wind was strong, so I kept the marriage schedule tucked away until after the ceremony (we signed it inside the 4×4 ‘wedding car’). The wind snatched at our voices, though, and some of our words were lost, so I was glad everyone was sitting and standing close enough to Patrick and Cathy to hear most of what was said.

Cathy and Patrick hadn’t include Symbolic Gestures, apart from a Faroese toast that they decided to hold over until later. They’re both wordsmiths by inclination and profession, one a writer , the other a television presenter, and they’d composed the script with care.  For a marriage of two such independent, strong characters, I was particularly touched by this:  As partners, husband and wife accept that one is good at one thing, and the other another. They give advice in the spirit of helpfulness rather than to criticise, and foster an attitude that encourages the other to flourish, in a relationship that’s constructive and allows both of them to grow – not one at the expense of the other.  They’re both big enough to support when needed, and push when required, and each tries to think of the other first, and each thrives on the other’s passions and successes. They see the good side, remember the good things, try to be positive. They plan the future and strive to achieve their goals, but they’re not afraid of changing course if circumstances change. And of course they’ve both got a sense of humour! It’s a good recipe for happiness in marriage.

http://www.durness.org/TIC%20Countryside%20Ranger.htm

http://www.undiscoveredscotland.co.uk/durness/balnakeil/index.html

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